if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
