I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
