Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
