Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
