guys are not supposed to queef...right?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
