we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
