which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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