Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You're a waste of cheezeits
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
