Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
