Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is it because I queefed?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
