If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
