He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
