I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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