I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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