I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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