Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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