Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
