i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
