Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She said her name was "party"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
