dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
