Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
