I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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