It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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