If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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