Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
