I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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