dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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