if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
