Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
