So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
