Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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