Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
