We named our party play list daddy issues
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
