Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
