I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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