Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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