The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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