Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
