I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
3pm strippers are depressing
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
