in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
