Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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