Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
