I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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