chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
