He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
