Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
