he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
