i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
