that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
