I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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