we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
