So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
