i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
