He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
